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Wednesday, December 15, 2004

The Morning After the News

A sharp ringing pierces thru her sleep, intruding on the peace she's found away from the torment of thoughts of her unborn children. With a groan she reaches toward the sound.

She knocks the phone from it's perch on the tabletop beside her. She wakes up enough to realize it's the phone, and opens her eyes. SHe picks up the receiver.


His familiar voice washes over her."Lilly? Honey? Are you ok?"

"HONEY!! Oh honey! I miss you so much! Yes, I'm ok." She explains,"I'm just.... I'm not taking care of myself well enough, that's all."

In a rush, he blurts,"Honey, are you sure? I think I'll come home. I've been so worried. What did the doctor say? When can you go home? Who's your doctor? I want to talk to him, make sure you're ok."

With a knowing smile and a troubled heart; she answers," Yes darling, I'm ok. No need to come home. The doctor just said I need to eat more, and get more rest. The last thing I want you to do is call him, and waste time on the phone being told the same things over again. I promise James, I'm ok." With a deep breath, she continues, " Honey, I miss you. So very much. I'll be ok... and I'll be going home tonight. Don't cut this trip short, honey, because it'll just mean you'll have to leave later. Take your time, finish what you need to finish, then we can be together. I love you. I want this. I want our future to be together, not apart spent on the phone wishing we were together."

Silence on the phone only confirmed what she knew he was thinking. Then, with a deep sigh, James replies," Ok Lilly. I'll finish this trip, and it will be my last. I'm tired of sleeping in hotels, stressing about the next flight, missing you. I'll make sure I won't have to go on the road again."

She laughs. "I'm looking forward to it."

They talk for a bit longer, her heart torn. But never does she let him know what is really wrong. She couldn't tell him that she's having his children only to tell him they may die. She'd never hurt him like that. No way would she put him thru that hell.

No, in this, she would suffer alone. She would bear the hurt, and keep her husband's heart safe.

After they say their goodbyes she lies back on her pillows, deep in thought.

Why did I lie to him? Why didn't I just tell him? How can I keep this from him? He's gonna be home in a few weeks, he'll see me get fat... he'll see my pregnancy. How can I hide this? But how could I tell him? How could I look at his face and see the pain in his eyes when he see's me, large with child, knowing he may never hold it, never kiss it?

Fighting back tears, she hugs her arms to her chest and sighs.

Why must life thrust us into these situations?

She gets out of bed, and gets dressed. It takes more effort than she's willing to allow herself to believe. Unwilling to stay another day, she calls for a cab, and walks slowly out of the hostpital.



Whispered by the fire in Miss Megumi's cave of wonders @ 11:28 PM


All content is copyrighted by California Stryker © 2004

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Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Pt 7

She hears the door open and close. A chair scrapes the floor, and the sound of someone sitting beside her bed causes her to open her eyes.

A smiling man looking to be in his late 40's is sitting there staring.

She opens one eye, and stares back.

"Hi. How's it going today? I'm Dr. Chin Liu. I have your test results today. Are you ready?" the staring man offeres.

With effort she sits up, folds her hands in her lap, and calmly looks at the doctor. "Yes."

Still smiling, he looks at a folder on his lap. " I have some good news, and some bad news. The good news is that the babies are fine. Both have strong heartbeats and even though it's too early to tell too much about their devlopment, it looks like they're going to be healthy..." Never did he take his eyes from the folder as he said this.

She clears her throat. "Twins? I'm going to have twins??"

Carefully, he looks at her, "Yes ma'am. Twins."

"What's the problem? Why am I feeling so sick." She demands.

"Well," he starts. "The babies are draining too much of the nutrients in your body, miss. With your small frame, and your background of medical problems, I only see one of two things happening. Either you'll end up having a miscarriage, or you'll be able to carry the babies to full term, and die during the birth. Even a c-section would not help you, ma'am." He clears his throat. " You're too small for a natural birth, and a cesarian would cause you to lose too much blood. There's no way around it."

Looking again at the folder in his lap, he goes on in a voice almost too quiet to hear. " It's not too late to have an abortion, ma'am."

In shock, she just sits there. Two babies? And they might not live? She puts her arms around her stomach, silently cradling the children inside her. Her children. James' children. She shakes her head.

In a hoarse voice she whispers, "I will not have an abortion. I will not kill my babies."

The man blushes. "I'm sorry, I didn't.... I don't... "

Coldly, she states,"Get out."

The man, obviously embarrassed at having made the comment, leaves in a hurry.

She lies back on her pillows, and listens to her own breathing.

Twins. I have two precious healthy babies inside me. Two lives depending on me. Two little people, a part of James' and I. What am I going to do? Oh God, please let these babies live. Please hold them to you, and keep them safe.

She drifts off to sleep once more, her arms gently holding her stomach.


Authors note:

Heather, lol. This isn't a blog soap. It's an actual story I'm writing. Kinda surprising myself, actually.

In other news, I'm doing well. Just going on with day to day life. I do ask, however, that if you are a believer of God, and if you are the praying type, that you add a family to your list. Brandon and Brandi, and their two boys; William and Landon are good friends of mine. They have a desperate need right now for some comfort in their lives. I'll not share the details with everyone, but I'm sure you all know how little I ask for prayer requests so you know how important this is. Now, more than ever, they need some help.

Thank you. Miss Cali



Whispered by the fire in Miss Megumi's cave of wonders @ 4:28 PM


All content is copyrighted by California Stryker © 2004

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Thursday, December 02, 2004

pt 6

*quick author's note* I promise I won't type in microsoft word and copy my stuff here. That, apparently, messes up the posts. =(


Her head hurts. She opens her eyes only to slam them closed again.

Damn sun.

Where is she? What happened to her? She tries to sit up, but something seems to be holding her arms to her side.

Squinting, she looks at them. Tubes. Needles.

She wiggles her fingers. There's something in her hand, but she can't lift her head up far enough to see what it is. She moves it around. Feels like a button. She presses it, and wearily lies her head back on the pillow.

And sleeps.

Sometime later she awakes to a voice talking near by.

"Dr. Serna, she pressed the button earlier. I swear it."
"Claudia, you're stressed. Look at her.. does it look like she pressed the button?"

She groans and both the voices become silent.

And they are at her side.

"I knew it!! I just knew you were gonna be ok."

"Claudia, I think you need to go get the head nurse.... and Mrs. Jones' doctor."

She lifts her head, and opens her eyes. Dark now. She must have slept. For a long time too, considering it was so bright when she first woke up.

"Where am I," She croaks.

"Mrs. Jones, I am Dr. Serna, the only Dr. on shift tonight. You had some problems yesterday. Do you remember them?"

"I was at work......"

"Yes ma'am. Do you remember what happened at work?"

"...I ... I was thristy....I went to get a juice... and I was dizzy when I stood up... I remember reaching for my purse, and then... nothing..."

With a sigh Dr. Serna put his hand on hers. "You blacked out, ma'am. Some people heard you fall, and called 911. You've been asleep since then."

In shock, she sits up. And in her pain she cries out.

With prying fingers on her stomach, Dr. Serna asks, "Mrs. Jones? Where does it hurt?"

"My head. My head and my arms. I feel so weak...what's wrong with me??"

For a moment there is only silence. And then, hesitantly, Dr. Serna answers, " Mrs. Jones, I know you're concerned. But I'm not the best person to tell you. Your tests haven't come back yet, and your doctor is on his way. It would be better if you rested until he gets here. Then you'll have your questions answered. Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

For the first time she notices her mouth is as dry as cotton. "Thirsty. Do you have orange juice?"

With a laugh, Dr. Serna says, " No orange juice for you ma'am. It's too harsh on the stomach. How does apple juice sound?"


Dr. Serna shuts the door softly as he leaves. And her thoughts invade her.

Where is her husband? Is he ok? She should call him before he worries. Likely, he already is.

She presses the nurses button again, and in moments a stout woman with white hair appears at her door.

"Oh, I'm so happy you're awake. I've been worried about you since they told me...but don't you worry your pretty little head young lady. You'll be just fine. Now, what can Claudia do for you?"

With a weak smile she replies, "Can I call my husband?"

"Oh not a problem." Claudia smiles at her warmly. "Now, the hospital has a problem with patients calling.. but if you promise not to tell anyone, I'll let you use my cell phone. Promise?"

Beginning to like this 'Claudia', she smiles. "Yes, I promise."

Claudia makes short work of handing her the phone, and leaving her to her privacy.

Slowly, she dials the number from memory.

And his voice, strong and husky, answers on the first ring. "Hello?"

"I love you honey," she clamors in a rush.

"I've been so worried about you! Where are you! Why haven't you called? I've been worried sick!"

Over the next few minutes she tells him where she is, and how she got there.

He insists on coming home. She refuses to let him.

"I'm ok honey. I'm at the hospital.. but I'm ok. I'll get some rest, and when the doctor gets here, I'll find out what is wrong. But I promise you, I'll be ok."

"Lilly, I can't lose you. I live for you honey. I work for you. I breathe for you.... God I want to come home."

"James, I'm ok. I promise. I'll call as soon as I find out what's wrong. I'll bet it's just a problem with vitamins or something. I promise James, we'll live a long long time. I love you darling."

"Alright honey. You get some rest. Promise me you'll call me and tell me everything the doctor says."

"I promise. I love you James."

They hang up the phone, and feeling weaker than she's ever felt, she lies back, and in seconds is deeply asleep.



Whispered by the fire in Miss Megumi's cave of wonders @ 2:15 AM


All content is copyrighted by California Stryker © 2004

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Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Pt 5

She finds it hard to concentrate at work; her mind swimming with thoughts of the future. For hours she sits at her desk talking to no one. Many people walk by her office, but not a soul stops to talk to her.

She glances at the clock. Two and a half hours until lunch.

With a sigh she decides to go to the break room for a cold juice. She gets to her feet and takes a step toward the door. The world spins around her. She sways and puts a steadying hand on her desk. She shakes her head as if to clear it.

"That's odd," she thinks. She takes a moment to run a 'self check' to see if she's ok.

No pain. Stomach doesn't hurt. Head doesn't hurt. She doesn't have to go to the bathroom... What could possibly be wrong?

She decides to get that juice. Maybe she's hungry? She decides to take some money along to get some food. She doesn't feel hungry, but maybe... just maybe her body's telling her something.

She reaches over to reach her purse in the bottom desk drawer.

The world turns black.



Whispered by the fire in Miss Megumi's cave of wonders @ 1:11 PM


All content is copyrighted by California Stryker © 2004

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Monday, November 22, 2004

Pt 4

The alarm clock drifts thru her dream and brings her back to reality. She jumps out of bed and calls him to wake him up. They talk as they shower and dress; this time spent just talking about mundane things treasured by both.

His words bring him closer to her. He is her lifeline, her foundation; the only person in her life.

He is her best friend.
He is her only family.
Without him she has no roots to ground her to this life.

Without him, she is lost.

On the other side of the phone he notices the change in her and sighs.

"Honey, I'll be home soon, and this is my last trip out. Our businesses are bringing in enought money... I can afford to stay home."
"That reminds me," she replies. "The contractors say the house will be reqady 2 days before you come home. So I can start setting up house before you arrive.... I was gonna wait to tell you but... Oh honey, I have even better news."

He chuckles. "And what news is that?"

A smile comes to her lips. "I'll give you one guess per phone call."

He laughs and thinks to himself "this is so like her". Outloud he says, "My guess is the new restraunt was approved, and building starts soon?"

"Nope," she giggles. "Not even close."

" I love you honey. So very much," he says. "It's time."

She sighs, and the smile fades from her face. "I can't wait for you to come home."

"I know baby."

"Have a good day, darling, and be safe," she whispers. "I love you."

They both hang up and she turns toward the door. With a heavy heart and a deep sigh she braces herself as she enters the world and travels the distance to work.



Whispered by the fire in Miss Megumi's cave of wonders @ 10:35 PM


All content is copyrighted by California Stryker © 2004

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Thursday, November 18, 2004

Pt 3

Somehow she makes it thru her day; mundane tasks completed without a thought. Work serves as a relief from worries. But as her work day comes to a close, she begins to dread going home to an empty house. She decides to work some overtime at the end of her shift. But that, too, is short lived, and soon she's making her way toward home.

She stops by the store to buy dinner. As she walks thru the isles, wondering what she should make, feeling more alone than ever, she desides to just grab a tv dinner for the night... no sense in cooking for one, right?

She pays the clerk for her purchases, and gets back into the car. It feels odd, driving. She hasn't driven since he's come home. She loves watching him as he drives them around, her arm resting on his thigh. She knows it's silly, but she feels as tho, letting him drive her around, is showing him she trusts him with her life. For he could easily crash them, yet never does.

She makes it home and unlocks the door. Just as she walks in to the darkened room, the phone rings. A smile comes to her face. It's him! She can't run fast enough as she makes her way to the phone.
"Hi darlin'"
"oh honey!! I've missed you so much!!"

Thus begins the best time of her day. Time spent with him;his voice washing over her and soothing her fears. She gets ready for bed, feeling completely safe now that he's on the phone with her.

They talk for hours, each unwilling to let the night end, each longing to hold the other. And as she lies down in bed and closes her eyes, she can imagine she's beside him, able to reach out and touch him as he talks to her. His words carry away her stress, completely relaxing her.

She falls into a sound sleep, feeling close to him. She dreams peacefully, the phone still held in her hand.



Whispered by the fire in Miss Megumi's cave of wonders @ 11:32 AM


All content is copyrighted by California Stryker © 2004

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Monday, November 15, 2004

Continuing the dream

The morning comes to soon, and with it the shrill sound of the alarm clock. It pierces through their slumber and brings them once more to reality. Together they shower, tenderly washing away the worries and cares of yesterday. Her lips brush the scar on his chest, remembering the time she almost lost him. She reaches up and scratches the matching scar on her arm, smiling at the memory of jumping in the way at the last moment.

They finish their shower, and gently dry eachother, dressing one another with care. These morning rituals walked thru without a word. None is needed. They know each other well enough to know what the other is thinking.

He's thinking he doesn't want to go.

She's thinking she wants to hold him to herself, so he can't go.

The bags packed the night before, there is nothing left to do except say goodbye. No telling when he will return. No telling if he will be ok. She wants to go with him, but he won't allow her. It's too dangerous he says, ever the protector.

She clings to him, her heart begging for him to stay. He holds her tightly, not wanting to leave her alone.

With a sigh, they break apart, tears in her eyes. He pries his eyes from hers, and with a determined stride, walks to the door. Turning before he walks thru it, he turns and whispers," I love you. I WILL return." And having said that, he shuts the door tightly behind him.

She barely makes it to the door to lock it, and falls to her knees, sobbing; terrified he will not return.

She will wait. She will watch. And in her heart, she will hold to the hope of her love's return.



Whispered by the fire in Miss Megumi's cave of wonders @ 11:26 PM


All content is copyrighted by California Stryker © 2004

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